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August 18th, 2007

11:44 am
Chausette!  Chausette!

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June 7th, 2007

01:48 pm - Mindless Vapid Holes
So I'm basically in the process of tearing up the house and putting it back together again with a fresh coat of bleach (I don't clean. I obliterate dirt), at the same time talking to anna_mathe on the phone as one of her cats back home is giving birth to kittens, and these two scantily-clad college-aged vapid girls walk up to the door. I'm usually pretty bad about opening the door for people, but it's kinda hard to pretend you're not there when they've already seen you carrying the vacuum.

Mindless Vapid Hole 1: Hi, we are supposed to talk to 30 nice people as a project to overcome our fear of public speaking for a class. Are you a nice guy?

Me: No, not really.

Mindless Vapid Hole 2: Really? You're not nice.

Me: No, I'm really not.

MVH1: Well, when we graduate, we're going to be sports broadcasters. Would we be able to write you down as a reference? We would then put a tag on your door so that others in our group know to not come up to the door. You don't want them anyway. They smell bad. We're the cutest. And we're also selling magazines, which are cheap, like our ex-boyfriends.

(Disclaimer: It's difficult to keep track which Mindless Vapid Hole said what, so let's assume they don't have identities of their own.)

Me: You can write my name down if you want to, but I'm not buying anything.

MVH1: Aww....well look at this list, anyway, and see if there isn't something you might want here. What does your wife do?

Me: I don't have a wife. I'm gay.

MVH1: *gasp* Really?! Like, how long have you known you're gay.

Me: Forever....that's usually how that works.

MVH2: Right on! You're one hot gay guy! *high fives*

MVH1: Well, have you ever slept with a woman?

Me: Yeah.

MVH1: You're a hot gay guy. Would you want to try it again?

Me: No......not really.

MVH1: What if your boyfriend could join in?

(Disclaimer: I have no boyfriend)

MVH2: We're vicious, aren't we? *makes random commentary about the decor, to which MVH1 states "He's gay....he should know about stuff like this*. You know, this is some pretty rad music you've got going.

Me: It's Breaking Benjamin before they sold out.

(Disclaimer: They never were good, but I like them anyway)

And after a few more "You're a hot gay guy" and "You should get this magazine for your boyfriend.....it's a GAY magazine!", they finally left. I would've expected this if I were still in the campus area....but here?

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July 12th, 2005

03:59 pm
would you join a fraternity called "Theta Kappa Oregano" ?

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June 18th, 2005

03:13 pm
I wish to inform the club of a failure on the part of JT and Amy. Yes. We did blow it most totally.

Yesterday, your two presidents had a grand time frolicking through our childhood playgrounds, clad most festively in candy necklaces. The significance did not dawn on me until hours later.

Not so very long ago, I set a most prodigious goal for myself. This goal was thus: I would wear a candy necklace at all times in the off chance that I might encounter someone famous. I could then approach said famous person and offer a bite of my candy necklace. This would, as was pointed out at the time, be quite amusing, should said person be the Pope.

Here is where the failure comes in.

I didn't wear a candy necklace to the Rhapsody concert.

JT, I could have gone up to Fabio and asked if he wanted a bite of my candy necklace.


I have failed.
Current Mood: crappycrappy

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June 1st, 2005

04:31 pm
JT and Amy have made many a road trip since the last post. We have notes somewhere regarding those roadtrips, but that is not why I now speak to you. I now speak to you because tomorrow's road trip, while shorter than most, will be quite mighty. It will be almost painfully mighty. Because we are going to get arrested for loitering outside HoB, Cleveland, waiting for Rhapsody and Manowar. Yes. When next you see JT and Amy, our faces will be melted off into a bucket and mixed with wax.
Current Mood: calmcalm

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March 12th, 2005

04:28 pm

Current Music: The Magnetic Fields- I Thought You Were My Boyfriend

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November 12th, 2004

01:13 am
So, we're sitting outside Dairy Queen, eating our ice cream and judging the passing cars for their atrocious driving mistakes, and a random truck pulls up with some random drunk/stoned/horny/old guys in it. And they were talking and laughing about something. They catch us watching them, and Amy says hi.

Random drunk/stoned/horny/old guys: You know, you need a purposeful walk. It's very important.

Amy: You're right.

Me: I've always said that an important walk is the key to life (which is actually true).

Amy: You've gotta have an important walk.

Random drunk/stoned/horny/old guys: Yeah, you guys are absolutely right! You're probably raising good kids.

Amy: Actually I........

Me: Yes, yes we are raising good kids.

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November 3rd, 2004

11:24 pm
JT - I think my "Killing people by violent vehicular homicide" theme has been decided! I've chosen "Lie" by Dream Theater - it just sounds like the song to have blasting in the background while picking off pedestrians . . .
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Dream Theater - Lie

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October 31st, 2004

04:15 pm
JT and Amy here with an exciting announcement. We've decided on a few new CD mix ideas to top all other mixes. Naturally, we expect that it will be incredibly difficult to top such classics as "Go West", "The Spooky Mix", and "You've Got Sears....Douchebag!", but we're going to try, damn it.

So here's where our fan club members come into play. We're taking suggestions for a couple of our mixes. We are having a "Songs to kill to" mix and a "Songs to die to" mix. If we like your suggestion, we'll put it on the mix. If we don't, we won't put it on the mix, but we'll burn your house down and slaughter your family as a consolation prize. Also, we're looking for one song for each of us that could serve as an overall theme. So if you can think of a song that screams JT or AMY, then be sure to offer your suggestion, and we'll use it if we like it. Details of our end product will be posted sometime in the future....probably well into the future since we're giving ourselves at least a month to finish these mixes....we take our mixes seriously here at jtandamyfanclub.

Alright, so let's hear some suggestions.
Current Music: Death Cab for Cutie- Company Calls Epilogue

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October 20th, 2004

09:46 pm
"Leaping sex!"

I won't explain, I won't explain . . .

Okay.Collapse )

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