June 7th, 2007
|jaytee3||01:48 pm - Mindless Vapid Holes|
So I'm basically in the process of tearing up the house and putting it back together again with a fresh coat of bleach (I don't clean. I obliterate dirt), at the same time talking to anna_mathe on the phone as one of her cats back home is giving birth to kittens, and these two scantily-clad college-aged vapid girls walk up to the door. I'm usually pretty bad about opening the door for people, but it's kinda hard to pretend you're not there when they've already seen you carrying the vacuum.
Mindless Vapid Hole 1: Hi, we are supposed to talk to 30 nice people as a project to overcome our fear of public speaking for a class. Are you a nice guy?
Me: No, not really.
Mindless Vapid Hole 2: Really? You're not nice.
Me: No, I'm really not.
MVH1: Well, when we graduate, we're going to be sports broadcasters. Would we be able to write you down as a reference? We would then put a tag on your door so that others in our group know to not come up to the door. You don't want them anyway. They smell bad. We're the cutest. And we're also selling magazines, which are cheap, like our ex-boyfriends.
(Disclaimer: It's difficult to keep track which Mindless Vapid Hole said what, so let's assume they don't have identities of their own.)
Me: You can write my name down if you want to, but I'm not buying anything.
MVH1: Aww....well look at this list, anyway, and see if there isn't something you might want here. What does your wife do?
Me: I don't have a wife. I'm gay.
MVH1: *gasp* Really?! Like, how long have you known you're gay.
Me: Forever....that's usually how that works.
MVH2: Right on! You're one hot gay guy! *high fives*
MVH1: Well, have you ever slept with a woman?
MVH1: You're a hot gay guy. Would you want to try it again?
Me: No......not really.
MVH1: What if your boyfriend could join in?
(Disclaimer: I have no boyfriend)
MVH2: We're vicious, aren't we? *makes random commentary about the decor, to which MVH1 states "He's gay....he should know about stuff like this*. You know, this is some pretty rad music you've got going.
Me: It's Breaking Benjamin before they sold out.
(Disclaimer: They never were good, but I like them anyway)
And after a few more "You're a hot gay guy" and "You should get this magazine for your boyfriend.....it's a GAY magazine!", they finally left. I would've expected this if I were still in the campus area....but here?